OK, so I figured that the post earlier would be enough to settle my mind but I guess I was wrong. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
My emotions seem to be a bit out of whack. Not openly, of course. I can contain them in public. It's when I get time alone that they attempt to run haywire. I try not to let them control my moods, to keep them under wraps. I've some to a very challenging fork in my road. But the only thing I can do is pray about it, as well as just take it one step at a time.
I'm pretty excited on the other hand. There's a spot open at the church in the nursery/day care. I'm picking up an application tomorrow for that AND there's a bank about to open up down the road, I'm also planning to apply there as well. :) Also, Bug and I are going to Nani's tomorrow after we take Ninja to school. My mama and one of my two sisters will be there!
Halloween is coming fast! Ninja picked his costume out the other day and I got Bug's costume when I went shopping with my sister. There's a big Halloween bash in the town Thursday evening. The husband and I are taking both kids to that. It's my Lady Bug's FIRST Halloween! And then it will be her first Thanksgiving! THEN, It will be her FIRST Birthday, followed by her second Christmas! I just can't believe how she, or her brother are growing. It kind of makes me feel old.
Maybe sometime soon I can actually talk to my husband. Maybe we can find somewhere to get counseling. This is just so difficult. I don't want to hurt him. Again, I care about him. I do, I just feel I deserve more than what he gives me.
On a different note, I started a prayer jar. I got the idea from this amazing book I bought at Books A Million a while ago. The idea has stuck with me. It's from the book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.
The book " ..retells the biblical love story of Gomer and Hosea against the exciting backdrop of the California Gold Rush." At one part in the book, the female main character ends up staying overnight at a house. The daughter of the owners was spending time with her and to make a long story short ended up telling the main character about her prayer box. She wrote all the prayer request she had or knew of, dated them and then put them through the slot on top, kind of like a piggy bank. Then, once the prayer had been answered, she would take it out to and look at the date to see how long it took to answer them. I thought it was a neat idea. Though, I have yet to get all the prayers I pray for in the jar, there are a handful in there. :)
I wish that the husband didn't have to work 3rd shift so the kids and I could go to church on Wednesday nights. Maybe with income tax and if I get a job, we can afford to get a second vehicle.
Well, it seems that the television keeps catching my attention, PLUS i'm cold.. which normally means that I'm tired. So, I'm going to obey the cues and curl up on the couch :)